So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
