My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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