i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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