I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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