you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
