I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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