So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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