all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
