why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
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I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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