okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
