Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
