I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
