The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
