nut hugger
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
