Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
