whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
