There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
