Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's blow job season.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
