Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
