I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
