New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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