I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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