i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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