My pussy is not your playground.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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