Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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