so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
