The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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