I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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