RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
