you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That accounts for only three of the penises
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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