Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
