**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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