remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she peed on how many people?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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