Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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