He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
