Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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