We're like a lot better than the average bears
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
