is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
