Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
