ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
