And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
