May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
