I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He better not be in your backpack
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
