Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
