so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
