Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
