You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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