I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
