I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
