She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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